Breaking the Cycle: 5 Lessons From 2025 to Leave Behind
Episode Summary:
We usually end the year with a victory lap. We talk about the wins, the revenue, and the growth. But if we’re being honest, the most important lessons usually come from a face-plant.
In this final episode of 2025, Jim Burgoon shares the "Ugly Truths" of the past year. From realizing that his "discipline" was actually fear dressed up as productivity, to a major health crash that came from ignoring his body's limits, Jim holds nothing back.
If you want to walk into 2026 with a new foundation instead of just a new calendar, this episode is for you. We are leaving the hustle, the people-pleasing, and the burnout in 2025.
Key Takeaways:
- Hustle is a Wound: If you can't rest without guilt, you aren't a high performer—you're a high-functioning captive. Jim admits how his "work ethic" was often just a way to avoid processing the grief of losing his mother and sister.
- Calling ≠ Invincibility: Your nervous system is not impressed by your calling. A holy mission with an unhealthy pace still ends in a crash (and sometimes an autoimmune diagnosis).
- Performance Kills Leadership: You cannot lead people you are secretly trying to impress. If you are addicted to approval, you will manage reactions instead of building trust.
- Belonging vs. Proving: Your best work happens when you stop trying to earn a seat at the table. You don't find your voice by forcing it; you find it by standing in it.
- Trust Your Intuition: Trauma can make you second-guess your gut. Jim shares why you must stop "logicking" your way out of red flags—if it feels off, it usually is off.
Favorite Quotes:
- "You can't build a new future on old foundations."
- "When worth is the paycheck, you never clock out."
- "My nervous system is not impressed by my calling."
- "A holy mission with an unhealthy pace ends in a crash."
- "If I need you to like me, I cannot lead you."
Resources:
- Join the Newsletter: www.leadwithjim.com/nl
- Full Episode Show Notes & Transcript: www.leadwithjim.com/podcast
Connect with Jim
- 🌐 Website: www.leadwithjim.com
- 🎙️ Ask a Question: leadwithjim.com/ask
- 📱 Instagram: @leadwithjim
- ▶️ YouTube: Lead with Jim
- Facebook: @leadwithjim
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Thanks for listening!
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Transcript
If you don't take time to look back, you are going to fight this loop, this destructive loop of constantly doing the same things over and over and over.
Speaker A:But we continue the loop because we don't look back, we don't evaluate and we don't learn.
Speaker A:We just keep moving forward.
Speaker A:And ultimately we will hit landmines that we don't need to hit.
Speaker A: sharing five hard lessons of: Speaker A:And these are not going to be taken with me in the new year.
Speaker A:And they're not going to be you taking them either.
Speaker A:With that, cue the intro.
Speaker B:This is the Unshakable Life mindset.
Speaker B:Resilience, action.
Speaker B:No stride.
Speaker B:Break free from the burnout.
Speaker B:Find your true north with your guy, Jim Burgoon.
Speaker B:Steppin forward.
Speaker B:This is the.
Speaker A:Hey, friends.
Speaker A: back to the final episode of: Speaker A:We're episode 71.
Speaker A:First and foremost, I want to thank you for being on the journey with me and making it so far with me.
Speaker A:I know this is the time of year where Christmas has just passed.
Speaker A:New Year's is coming in a few days, and the hopefully you put all the Christmas boxes away.
Speaker A:You know, got all the wrapping paper, got all your stuff, all your leftovers are gone, and you're standing on the edge of a new year.
Speaker A:This is the time of year where there's a lot of hype, a lot of resolutions, a lot of things going on because all of us have this deep seated thing of where I've been.
Speaker A:I don't want to repeat where I'm going.
Speaker A:I need to let go of things.
Speaker A:You can't build a new future on old foundations.
Speaker A:Just like the Bible says, you can't build or put new wine in old wine skins.
Speaker A:Like the two doesn't go together.
Speaker A:And we have to make sure that if we're going to put new wine into something, it has to be a new wineskin.
Speaker A:If we're going to build a new future that doesn't look like last year's future, then we have to build it on a new foundation.
Speaker A:Or even if you guys are on this plan with Jesus, we're strengthening the foundation that he's building within us.
Speaker A:If we don't pause, if we don't evaluate, if we don't learn what this year or what any situation has taught us, we will repeat it over and over.
Speaker A:And what you continually repeat becomes a cycle in your life and the cycles are hard to break.
Speaker A:That's where the Bible comes in and talks about tearing down every stronghold brick by brick.
Speaker A:Why is that?
Speaker A:Because a cycle is a fortress that has been built brick by brick, bad thought by bad thought, bad decision by bad decision.
Speaker A:And then we wonder why we can't move into new things.
Speaker A: t I've learned really hard in: Speaker A:And these are not marketing strategies.
Speaker A:These are the heartbeats and the heart strategies that have really come from what God has really brought me through this year.
Speaker A:And some of them are going to be really painful to admit.
Speaker A:But, you know, with all that being said, here we go.
Speaker A:Buckle up, grab your favorite cup of coffee or matcha.
Speaker A:Let's bring in with lesson number one.
Speaker A:Hustle is often tied to a wound.
Speaker A:Now, here's what the overriding picture I want you to get with this, that we all struggle with these deep wounds, that if I to feel valuable, I have to produce to be of worth, I have to be productive.
Speaker A:So I dive into hustle culture because why?
Speaker A:Because hustle culture gives me the dopamine and the appearance of doing something wonderful to get the reward, which is going to be the accolades, the sale, whatever that is for you.
Speaker A:The truth comes back to, if I have to connect my hustle to feel valuable, I am not building a business.
Speaker A:I'm just feeding the wound.
Speaker A:And I'm continually feeding the wound.
Speaker A:And this is one that's going to have to make.
Speaker A:We're going to have to look in a mirror, and the mirror is going to show you some ugly truth.
Speaker A:The acceptance part of this is so hard, but it's so wonderful once you get a hold of it, because you have infinite amount of value that isn't tied to your production.
Speaker A:And some of us, what we call discipline, you know, the late nights, the const.
Speaker A:Constant grinding, the constant checking your metrics, it's not productivity.
Speaker A:What it is is me trying to say I'm okay.
Speaker A:Me trying to say, oh, look, someone likes me.
Speaker A:Me trying to sit there and say, oh, look, I'm doing something of worth.
Speaker A:And you know what all that is, that is just your fear, my fear in a very dressed up way.
Speaker A:And we've convinced ourselves this is what it is.
Speaker A:But in reality, it's the deep wound of never being, you know, accept it.
Speaker A:Always being abandoned, always fighting rejection, always fighting this fear of visibility.
Speaker A:So we tie it up and act like everyone else and we say, oh, look how valuable I am, because look how hard I can work.
Speaker A:And our work in that method is not inspired.
Speaker A:It's just Driven by this desperation to be noticed, but because I was too scared to slow down, I thought I wouldn't matter if I did.
Speaker A:If I stopped showing up, nobody would notice.
Speaker A:That's how I felt.
Speaker A:And, you know, I even had this conversation with my therapist this week.
Speaker A:I was speaking with her and I told her, I said, you know, and this was the hardest part where the lesson became the biggest.
Speaker A:I said, I tend to lean into workaholic tendencies.
Speaker A:Now, I'm not workaholic, but I have these workaholic tendencies as a way to avoid dealing with all the things that I have left just built up.
Speaker A:Like when my mom and my sister died two years ago.
Speaker A:I don't know if I ever really dealt with that.
Speaker A:I don't know if I ever really dealt with a lot of the loss and things in my life.
Speaker A:But I find it's a hard pill to swallow because naming it is a part of healing it.
Speaker A:And I have to name the fact that I have these workaholic tendencies so that I can ignore the deep feelings, the hurts, the things that I just don't want to deal with.
Speaker A:And that really comes into this thought process of when my worth is tied to a paycheck.
Speaker A:You never clock out.
Speaker A:Let that sink for a second.
Speaker A:If we can't clock out, we can't rest.
Speaker A:And we're already in violation of God's word when he tells us to rest because we can't.
Speaker A:We don't know how, because we tied our worth to the hard work.
Speaker A:And if you can't rest without guilt, you're not a high performer.
Speaker A:You are a high functioning captive to the trauma that's driving you.
Speaker A:Get this lesson and start finding, healing through the word, through journaling, through therapy, that you are not what you produce.
Speaker A:You are everything God said you are, and that is your worth.
Speaker A:And this is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn this year.
Speaker A:Because my whole life, I have always believed or always been treated or brainwashed into thinking that if I didn't produce, if I didn't help, if I didn't do these things, I had no value.
Speaker A:And earlier this year, God was like, all right, we're gonna deal with this.
Speaker A:And that was one of the hardest truths.
Speaker A:And it's the first one I wanted to give to you, which comes to the second one.
Speaker A:Your calling does not cancel your limits.
Speaker A:Now I gotta tell you the amount of believers that I navigate with and converse with, who really just hyper focus on my calling, what God's telling me, my assignment, and they never acknowledge the ramifications of what things are doing to our nervous system.
Speaker A:Like when you don't heal the trauma.
Speaker A:How do you ever expect to walk into your calling when you're in fight or flight mode?
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:All the time.
Speaker A:And this is something that we're not supposed to ignore.
Speaker A:God didn't tell us, ignore all of your biology and all of your psychology so that you can do the thing.
Speaker A:Because that goes back into number one.
Speaker A:We're so tied to our worth coming from what we do that we try to ignore all the warning signs in us that says we need healing.
Speaker A:Danger, Will Robinson, danger.
Speaker A:But that's not the case.
Speaker A:What happens is, is when we ignore it, we pick up a false sense of invincibility.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And if we feel invincible, it means nothing's going to stop us.
Speaker A:Nothing's going break us down until we're burnt out in a hospital.
Speaker A:And this false sense of invincibility creates this belief in us that our purpose overrides consequences.
Speaker A:Like somehow we have a calling.
Speaker A:Our limits aren't there anymore.
Speaker A:Like we have limit breakers.
Speaker A:And that's not really where this comes in, because your calling doesn't cancel your limits.
Speaker A:It does have consequences, especially when you don't rest and deal with your trauma.
Speaker A:I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and other autoimmunes.
Speaker A:But these are results from undealt with trauma and trying to push through all the challenges of my life.
Speaker A:And I used to believe that I was doing the right thing for the right reasons.
Speaker A:You know, if I help, I'm helping people, that God would give me supernatural strength and I can ignore natural functions and boundaries.
Speaker A:And when you live in denial, you live without wisdom.
Speaker A:And if my pace is breaking my body, then I'm not faithful to my body being a temple of God.
Speaker A:I'm just being stubborn and egotistical.
Speaker A:Because here's the deal.
Speaker A:A holy mission with an unhealthy pace ends in crash and sometimes death.
Speaker A:So that has been where I've been.
Speaker A:I've crashed hard, super hard.
Speaker A:And now I'm fighting to get back.
Speaker A:You know, everything I share with you on my podcast are not theories.
Speaker A:They're lived experiences.
Speaker A:Because when I hit the wall this year that I'm fighting back from, it was not just one thing.
Speaker A:It was a lifetime of unhealthy patterns from finally coming to collect on the cost.
Speaker A:And here's what I know.
Speaker A:You cannot honor God while treating your body like collateral damage.
Speaker A:So if we're going to truly honor God, we've got to be good Stewards of all of the things, of our energy, of our health, of our wealth, of all the things.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And if we're not honoring that, then we're just collateral damage, and we're doing it to ourselves.
Speaker A:And you're not honoring God, but you can honor God by changing the mindset.
Speaker A:And saying, God wants gives me a purpose.
Speaker A:But my purpose, the only way I fill it out, is being encapsulated in healthy emotions, healthy mindsets, and healthy bodies.
Speaker A:So let's not sacrifice ourselves on a false altar in order to do, like, some sort of thing that we think we're called to.
Speaker A:Let's make sure that the things that we're sacrificing on are healthy, are strong, are rooted in Christ, so that we can move forward with purpose.
Speaker A:And our purpose that God has given us will be seen.
Speaker A:Because if it's not, you'll burn out in a bed somewhere and wonder why you're depressed.
Speaker A: you so you don't take it into: Speaker A:Which brings us to lesson number three.
Speaker A:Performance kills your leadership.
Speaker A:And I will also tell you that performance kills creativity.
Speaker A:Because here's what I know.
Speaker A:I cannot lead people.
Speaker A:I cannot be authentically creative if I'm secretly trying to impress them.
Speaker A:Because when I'm secretly trying to impress someone, which is a trauma response, then I am actually trying to perform and not serve.
Speaker A:And this is to every leader, every parent, a creator, or every influence that listens to this podcast.
Speaker A:If you walk into performance, you walk out of service.
Speaker A:You are no longer serving your audience.
Speaker A:You are trying to win affirmation from them.
Speaker A:You're trying to be liked by them.
Speaker A:And anytime you try to win affirmation or be liked, that supersedes everything else you're trying to do.
Speaker A:Because you cannot make impact.
Speaker A:And because I needed approval.
Speaker A:It's protect the image.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:Protect everything you know.
Speaker A:You manage reactions instead of building trust.
Speaker A:You get into this place where the.
Speaker A:The applause actually means more than the impact it does.
Speaker A:And what that does is it creates a flat one that's easily broken.
Speaker A:And if you keep performing, if you keep at it, you will burn out.
Speaker A:You will give up.
Speaker A:You will be empty.
Speaker A:You will be unfulfilled.
Speaker A:Because if you need to be liked, you cannot lead.
Speaker A:Because by essence, leadership means people won't like you.
Speaker A:And that's okay, because you got to decide what you want.
Speaker A:Do you want to be admired or do you want to be trusted?
Speaker A:Do you want to be Impactful, or do you want somebody to just clap for you because you went viral?
Speaker A:I mean, these are the decisions you've got to make.
Speaker A:Now, most people can't do both because they're addicted to approval.
Speaker A:They're addicted to these places of I need somebody to notice me.
Speaker A:And this was me.
Speaker A:This was a hard lesson this year that God is really delivering me from because I needed approval.
Speaker A:Because when I was younger, I didn't get it because I went through so much emotional and mental abuse.
Speaker A:I always thought that performance is how I was liked, how I was loved.
Speaker A:But the truth of the matter is it's all fake.
Speaker A:It's all false.
Speaker A:It's all this.
Speaker A:And God was really starting to show me that I don't need to be performative.
Speaker A:I just need to show up to be genuine, to be authentic, to be who God created me to be.
Speaker A:In the places God created me to be in.
Speaker A:And in those places, if I would just serve, God would take care of the rest.
Speaker A:But in order to do that, I've got to come back and heal some of that nervous system and to realize that serving is safe, performance is not.
Speaker A:I got to retrain a lot of things in my brain, and I have been doing so, and there's still some more to go.
Speaker A:But the reality of it comes back that if you want to be performative, you can't be a leader because it's a fake leadership.
Speaker A:It's the everything that you hate about leaders you become because you're trying to perform and have a perfect image, which really greatly goes into number four.
Speaker A:And number four is belonging, verse proving.
Speaker A:Do you see a theme in this whole thing that we're going through here?
Speaker A:Because here's what I know.
Speaker A:My best work comes after I stop proving I belong, where I stop trying to get into groups and trying to get into places that don't want me.
Speaker A:When I try to stop people from leaving me, when I try to make sure that I'm there to show how good I am.
Speaker A:When I try to.
Speaker A:When I stop doing those things, this ties me into all the other things I've talked about.
Speaker A:Because when I stop doing those things, I notice that I am no longer in this desperate run to find somebody to like me.
Speaker A:I'm no longer in this desperate need to find a group of people who accept me.
Speaker A:I'm in this place of I'm going to serve and belong wherever God has me.
Speaker A:And this is something I noticed like, really early on at the beginning of the year, this needing to prove myself.
Speaker A:Because everything in My life has been, jim, you are nothing.
Speaker A:You are nobody.
Speaker A:In fact, when I was 12, 13, wanting to be a professional musician, I have.
Speaker A:My family members used to tell me I have no talent, I had no this, and I would never amount to anything because they wanted me to be a doctor, not a musician, right?
Speaker A:And it doesn't matter how good they thought their intentions were.
Speaker A:It was that I wanted something that they didn't want.
Speaker A:So they tried to force it out of me, which created a lifetime of me needing to prove myself in order to be like, to be among, to just make sure that everything is where it should be.
Speaker A:And this created this perfectionism.
Speaker A:I had to sound smarter, be more polished, be more impressive.
Speaker A:My words get forced.
Speaker A:I didn't want to hit record for a long time because I was afraid of what somebody may think.
Speaker A:And when I remember who I am and when I remember whose I am, my natural intelligence comes out, my natural humor comes out.
Speaker A:My words get simple.
Speaker A:Like, I don't need to be completely eloquent in my conversations in order for me to think that somehow I have intellectual ability.
Speaker A:But I can just have a great conversation, meaningful conversations, because I'm no longer needing to prove my worth to you.
Speaker A:I'm here to belong with you and to have deep conversations around great topics, no matter how hard the topic is.
Speaker A:Because I want us to be together in friendship, in these places of mutual communion, and not in these places of, hey, look at me, look at me, look at me.
Speaker A:Like, I don't want that anymore.
Speaker A:And you shouldn't want that either.
Speaker A:And I understand that many of us have been through a lot of trauma, and we have this need inside of us of proving ourselves, and we compare ourselves to the world so we prove and prove.
Speaker A:But you don't need to prove.
Speaker A:You don't need to go out there.
Speaker A:You just need to accept who God says you are and find healing for who you used to believe you are so that you can walk into the greatest portion of your life as an authentic version of who you truly are.
Speaker A:And I don't want.
Speaker A:Just like I had to learn that I don't need to force my voice, but find it and stand on it.
Speaker A:You don't have to be there.
Speaker A:You don't have to force who you are on anything on anybody.
Speaker A:You don't.
Speaker A:You already belong to the family of Christ.
Speaker A:You do not need to prove yourself to the world.
Speaker A:And you know what?
Speaker A:At this point, you just need to accept who you are and accept all the good, all the bad, and understand that God is In a place of healing you from that so that you can move into the greatest year of your life.
Speaker A:Now, will it take time?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:But you just got to commit to it.
Speaker A:Which brings us to our fifth and final lesson.
Speaker A:Listen to your intuition.
Speaker A:This is one that I could have been hit upside the head several times earlier in this year because I didn't listen to my intuition.
Speaker A:I saw the red flags.
Speaker A:I could tell you, based on trauma, based on things, that this was going to happen.
Speaker A:And I totally, totally, multiple times this year, ignored it.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Because I wanted to prove myself instead of just being myself, that I was just ignoring all the things that screamed red flag.
Speaker A:I didn't want to ever even acknowledge those things because here's the thing.
Speaker A:We have to be able to trust ourselves.
Speaker A:And I didn't, you know, specifically get into a place of.
Speaker A:When you feel these things, when you notice patterns to say, or the Holy Spirit begins to speak to you, say, wow, these things are highlighted to me.
Speaker A:And instead of running into the thing being like, take me with open arms, we stop and we say, wait a minute.
Speaker A:Everything is screaming at me to stop.
Speaker A:Let me take an evaluation, let me take a prayer break and actually check the flags, check the intuition, check with the Holy Spirit to see if I should move forward.
Speaker A:And most of us don't do that.
Speaker A:And I learned this year that my body often time gives me notice as well as my spirit and my intuition.
Speaker A:They all give me notice about a problem my brain was unwilling to admit, Right?
Speaker A:Even if the problems within me or within somebody I was speaking to, my brain would not admit what my body, intuition, and holy spirit were yelling at me.
Speaker A:And you know what?
Speaker A:If you have a history of trauma, this is very, like, right in the money for you and I.
Speaker A:Because trauma can make you second guess everything, including your own instincts.
Speaker A:And it can make you gaslight yourself.
Speaker A:It can make you do all sorts of things.
Speaker A:You start asking yourself, am I paranoid?
Speaker A:Am I too critical?
Speaker A:Am I overreacting?
Speaker A:Like, what's the deal?
Speaker A:And then you start to lean into the nasty and the toxic because you second guess yourself so much and you don't trust yourself at all that you're living in paranoia, not discernment.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And you ignore things and you get into these bad situations that God was trying to tell you not to get in.
Speaker A:And then you're like, but, God, now you got to save me.
Speaker A:You know, it's like a toddler running into danger into oncoming traffic.
Speaker A:The toddler saw all the cars, but they ran anyway.
Speaker A:We oftentimes act like that and we expect God to save us at all times.
Speaker A:Now, will He?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:But there are learned lessons that we can learn very hard, Very hard.
Speaker A:But if we would just listen to the intuition, Holy Spirit and the things that are giving us the signs beforehand, we can avoid a lot of that hardship.
Speaker A:And so here's the thing, and this is what, something I need you to get a hold of.
Speaker A:I need you to get in there.
Speaker A:If something feels off, it usually is off.
Speaker A:Just, just make sure you just acknowledge it and check in with yourself on it.
Speaker A:Don't just ignore it.
Speaker A:Ch yourself, check your emotions, check the Holy Spirit.
Speaker A:Because if it feels off, kind of really usually is.
Speaker A:And this started a pattern of healing in me that really started delivering me from these things.
Speaker A:So my, my takeaway or my, my thought to you is stop trying to logic your way out of a gut feeling.
Speaker A:Your nervous system is trying to protect you.
Speaker A:Listen to it.
Speaker A:Don't just throw it all away and be like, you know what, that's nothing, I'm just overreacting.
Speaker A:No, listen to it.
Speaker A:It was given to you.
Speaker A:Your consciousness and your.
Speaker A:In your nervous system and all that is sprinkled by the blood of Christ.
Speaker A:Just realize it's redeemed too.
Speaker A:Holy Spirit can use it.
Speaker A:Don't throw away your intuition because your brain is telling you it's not logical.
Speaker A:Just listen to it.
Speaker A:So that's my list of things.
Speaker A: s you don't want to walk into: Speaker A: and stand in your identity in: Speaker A:Because here's the deal.
Speaker A: I don't know what: Speaker A:We'll start thriving.
Speaker A:And so with that all being said, guys, thank you for riding out with me this entire year.
Speaker A:It has been an honor to serve you and I look forward to diving deeper into better content and better conversations.
Speaker A:More things to serve you, where you're at, where you're wanting to go and what God is saying.
Speaker A:So enjoy the New Year's.
Speaker A:Be safe, be responsible, and let's see you on the next episode.
Speaker A:Thank you for spending this time with me on the Unshakable Life podcast.
Speaker A:My prayer is that today's conversation helps you to build resilience, reclaim peace, and step with courage into your God given calling.
Speaker A:If this episode has encouraged you, challenged you, or impacted you in any way.
Speaker A:Could you do me a favor?
Speaker A:Share it with a friend, leave a review and hit the follow so you don't miss what's next.
Speaker A:And if you want more tools and encouragement for your journey, head over to leadwithjim.com you'll find resources to help you grow as a healthy, authentic Christian leader, entrepreneur and creator.
Speaker A:And until next time, remember, your foundation is Christ, your calling is unshakable, and your life can make eternal impact.
Speaker B:This is the Unshakable life Mindset, Resilience, Action, no strife.
Speaker B:Break free from the burnout.
Speaker B:Find your true north with your God.
Speaker B:Jim Burgoon Stepping forward.
Speaker B:This is the Unshakable life.
